He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
