he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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