I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
A+ Viking dick
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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