You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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