I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
