the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
