I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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