meet me or not, i'm out of control
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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