Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
