We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
my being single is dangerous.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
i black out too much to be "responsible"
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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