You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
