You were right. It hurts to walk today.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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