i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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