I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
