shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
