Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
