We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
