can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I need water and some morals
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
