Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
