I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Even my vagina gasped.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Tornado booty call.. dedication
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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