My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Is it because I queefed?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
