So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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