Well douche your snatch and let's go!
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
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