i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
