well I can't set my house on fire every night
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
