its not stalking. its research.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
