i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
