Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
