Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
