I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
