I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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