Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize