STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
