You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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