that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
