Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
We don't watch enough power rangers
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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