nut hugger
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
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