Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
