It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
