Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
