I hope mine doesn't look like that
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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