STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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