its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
