so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
