why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
