Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
