This is not my ceiling
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
