like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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