I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
