That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
