trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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