all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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