So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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