the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
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