He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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