Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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