Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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