Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
It was confusing and full of hummus
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
