The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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