what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
