i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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