I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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