she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
