We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
