My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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