Swine flu. Run for my life!
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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