I faked an abortion last night.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
