I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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