I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
just found out that she named her cat after me.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
