Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
