Sponge bath it is.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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