In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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