i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Your penis caused this!
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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